I don't know how many people noticed, or even actually cared that I had my account deactivated for 48 hours [that are required for reactivation].
Just so you know, this wasn't by accident or someone abusing my account and deactivating me, I deactivated myself on purpose ... for a stupid purpose most might say.

If you don't want to read this, fine with me, I just want to explain and apologize to all those who I made worry.



Just from the start, I DON'T WANT ANY PITY.
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THINGS LIKE "BUT YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT PERSON" OR "POOR YOU", NOTHING OF THAT PLEASE OR I'LL IGNORE IT.

Again I don't know how many people know about my inferiority complex ... probably not so many, since it has gotten better in the past year, so I rarely make a fuss about it ... well, this time I AM making a fuss about it.

Yes, I have an inferiority complex, a pretty bad one actually, but it got better, a lot.
Usually I am a really happy, carefree and easy-going person, I'm lucky, school is easy for me and my life couldn't get any easier or closer to what one might call "perfect", if I look at the whole of it.
But even so I can't help but think lowly myself, so lowly that it's hilarious, though I tend to cover that up while talking to others.
Nobody can ever tell how I'm really feeling, that's what I learnt ... and I'm not sure if that is a good thing.

In the past year I never felt really down or anything, at least not because of my stupid complex.
I don't have a lot of self-confidence, I'm just trying to cover that up with pride that pushes me head-first into dumb situations, I don't have a lot of self-esteem, I'm just trying to cover that up so that the ones around me don't have to worry.
And that worked well for a long time.
And I didn't think anything would happen, since it's been a year.
But it did.
Wednesday evening, everything suddenly collapsed above me and made me feel worse than ever ... I don't know how, I'm not depressive or anything, just sometimes, rarely, there are moments where my whole world seems to crumble and break around me and I cry for hours without having a real reason except hating myself for various reasons.
I'm not pretty, I know that, people telling me that over and over again hurts a lot, people saying I'm stupid, although they know I'm not shouldn't hurt me, but it still does, people telling me to "fuck myself" scars my heart, even though it might not seem like it does.
I know I shouldn't take all that bullshit that people say seriously ... but I do and I can't even help it.
Sometimes I feel like they're right with what they're saying ... I mean, I can't even get an A or at least A- in art class, what kind of joke of an artist am I, seriously?
It's not like I can't draw anything besides what you can see on dA, heck, my teacher once gave me an A+ for my project, still in the end I only received a B as my final grade.
There are moments when I just feel like the last, worthless scumbag on earth ... and nobody and nothing ever managed to get those thoughts out of my head.
Not even when people tell me that I'm a great person, that they love me, that I'm good at things and that I'm not ugly at all, nothing changes my mind, I try to change it, but something inside me struggles against it, it's like talking to a wall and that's why I grew tired of hearing those things, since they don't change anything at all ... I appreciate every compliment I get, more than you think and I try to let it give me some self-esteem ... but it doesn't work.
I'm already trying to convince myself that I'm not that bad, but I always find things that prove me the exact opposite.
That is also why I am barely ever satisfied with my works ... I am never proud of them, I never really like them, I never think that I couldn't have done it better, because I always find so many flaws and mistakes that I just curse myself for even touching a pen.

And so it came that I had pressed the "Yes, deactivate my account" button before even really realizing it ... and after that I only cried more ... but I needed some time for myself ...
I never wanted to deactivate my account ... yet ironically I did ... I don't even know myself ...

And here's the part where I have to make a BIG APOLOGY to everyone that I caused worry, but especially =Macchi-Tacchi since she probably was the one who was literally sick because I wasn't accessible at all, not on dA, not on tumblr, not on Facebook, not via email, not even on skype.

After reading all the messages that I got on skype, I cried my eyes out once again.
I didn't even notice that, when I left my laptop on [I never turn it off, just put it on "Snoozing" mode], I didn't turn skype off, but instead only went on "Invisble".
I didn't touch my laptop the past days ... so I didn't notice anything.
I needed the time to calm down again and pull myself out of that shameful misery again and just get some space from dA and even everyone around me ... until my friends called and forced me to meet with them and they cheered me up a lot and helped me to get over it already, so I used the time that was left to draw all that crap I owe to people, trying to prove myself that I'm not that bad as I always think [though it didn't work at all].
I switched to my old laptop to work, I just didn't want to touch my current one anymore, to stay away from everyone and take a serious break for once, since my old lappy doesn't have skype or internet at all, so it was the simplest way to escape.
I didn't actually think people would worry that much ...

But they did ... and I feel so horrible for not replying, not even noticing it [yet again another reason for me to hate myself] ...

I'M SO SORRY, I TRULY AM
I'M SORRY FOR MAKING PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT ME JUST CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP MY FRICKING COMPLEX UNDER CONTROL
I'M SORRY FOR HURTING PEOPLE JUST CAUSE I CAN'T START TO THINK BETTER OF MYSELF
I'M SORRY THAT I DRAGGED ANYONE INTO THIS

And I'm sorry Macchi, that I hurt you ... especially you, after what I read on skype ... I made you feel terrible and I'm so sorry for that ... you can't even begin to imagine how bad I feel for this ... I can't even put into words how sorry I am ... I should probably tell you more than only this right now ... but I just can't seem to find the right words ...
I would never ignore you ... if I get a message from you, I reply it, so if I don't, that ALWAYS means that I did not see the message for some reason ... so please don't spend your days depressed and sleep-deprived because of my stupid actions ... the only reason why I'd ever leave you would be because I fucking died or am comatose or whatever ... and even in that case my friend will set up a journal on dA to tell everyone ... so everything is taken care of.
I hope you can forgive me ... I didn't intend to make you miserable ... [and I hope you felt my hugs meant for you when I hugged my pillow the past nights]

This goes to everyone again.
I will never deactivate my account again but ... just saying ... that you all might want to be prepared to not hear from me for a couple of days every now and then ... don't worry too much if that happens, I'll be okay ... just like I am now~
I'm all better again, no negative thoughts, everything's a pink, sparkling pony farm with unicorns and rainbows once again~~
I met with my friends and spent my days being cheered up and had a lot of fun, trying to distract my thoughts until I can reactivate my account~

SO PLEASE DON'T PITY ME OKAY?
AND DON'T WORRY, THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT ♥

1. For the first 20 people to comment "CUPCAKES" to this journal. I will feature of one their characters. I'll also tell you what I like about them.

2. If you do comment and get featured here, please do the same in your journal, putting the me in the first slot. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everybody to get a gander at of your best work (in my eyes).

---

1.
DID I EVER TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE HER?
NO?
OKAY THEN: OMFG I CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR THIS TWISTED GIRL -- FIRST OF ALL-- HER FRICKING WEAPONS ARE OFFICE SUPPLIES -- THAT'S SO AWESOME SERIOUSLY-- AND THEN-- I WANT HER HAIR-- HER HAIR IS TOO PRETTY //SOBS
PLUS-- YANDERE GIRLS ALWAYS SEEM SO VERY FRIENDLY TO ME -- SOMEONE I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH |D //SHOTSHOTSHOT

2.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS--//SHOT
I simply love him TT v TT
I adore his hair-- first of all //punted
And then-- his development, the way he changes and /their/ story -- just too good for my heart ; v ;

3.
He caught my attention immediately-- that hair omg //touches
Also-- I love arrogant and bratty characters e u e

4.
I love how I first thought of her to be just a nice, little girl -- and then I read that she likes yaoi //kicked
EVERY CHARACTER THAT LOVES YAOI IS A CHARACTER I LIKE |D

5.
NNGGGHH--
His hair-- //touches
I love his hair-- and omg-- did I read sword swallower?! * A *
I really admire those people-- idk how they do their work but DAMN-- that's so awesome TT v TT

6.
His looks---
I'm such a sucker for his looks I swear--
Can I marry him please?
AND he's an asshole-- pfff-- couldn't be better //always falls for the bad guys anyway

7.
If it's not obvious already-- I've got a weak spot for long-haired guys
H-His hair-- and-- he's a Pokemon trainer-- //loves pkmn til infity and beyond
besideshe'snakedandIlikeynaked//shot


8.
again with dem long-haired guys //shot
First off-- there's a full story revolving around him -- with marriage and everything-- and I love elaborated characters like this one * v *
And then-- his personality sounds quite fun-- |DDDD

9.
Not going to mention the hair again ... < u >;;
Ahaha-- a grumpy guy-- who doesn't love tsuntsuns? |D //SHOT
Besides-- Imma meet him soooon * 7 *

10.
I love how he differs from all the other characters for MnG cause he hates showing his upper body-- I love unique characters the most and this is definitely one of them ; v ;

11.
I have that slight liking for punk/gothic clothing ahaha-- //////
I love how this wasn't meant to be a character but now even has a contest to determine is name and bio * v *
That's what I call dedication of the creator ♥

12.
Long legs * q *
She's so prettyyyyy amg--
And unf--- dat whip-- whips are always too sexy //swoons

13.
HOMG-- a griffin
One of my most favorite mythological creatures-- how did you know //shot
That's all the reason I need to like him

14.
NNGH-- WHY'S THE DESCRIPTION IN SPANISH OTL
//can't speak Spanish
but still-- I love his colors * v *
Plus-- he's a vocaloid and has long hair-- how could I not like him? |D //SHOT

15.
Bawwww-- his personality-- he's such a cutie I swear = 7 =
He loves to tease the people around him-- that's my favorite character trait an OC can have |DDD

16.
ASKDFJ ADVENTURE TIME OC <33333
NNGGH-- I LOVE THE VAMPIRE IDEA IN AT FAR TOO MUCH-- AND SHE'S SO PRETTY OMG--
Her hair is drawing me in-- and that hairclip >//////< //grabby hands

17.
Hahaha-- he sounds like the perfect type of guy for me to mess with |D
It's always so much fun to provoke spoiled brats-- //would totally do it
And I love the choice of his colors * ^ *

18.
Oh my god-- her design has always caught my attention-- //was just too shy to say it
I love her personality way too much-- kinda sympathize with her //shotshot

19.
OMFG-- I SWEAR I LOVE HIS DESIGN SO FRICKING MUCH YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE AKSJFAKSJDF--
And the feature of his human skin peeling off---- so good hnnnggg-- > u <
I really love the idea-- very unique and creative <3

20.
Pffftt-- her personality amused me A LOT |D
Sounds just like the type of girl I'd hang out with-- and I can take perverted jokes, I'd just come back at her if she tries to tease me |D
Also-- girls handling guns are always cool .___. ALWAYS

... that I am constantanously thinking about leaving dA?
At least once per day .... if it wasn't for my rp groups ... I would be long gone ....

just ... there is so much shit going on here on this site ... so much unnecessary trouble to deal with ... so much unfairness and hate ... and we as mere members can't do anything about any kind of issue ... I swear ... one day, if you see me leaving all my rp groups, you can be sure that I will leave dA as well ... probably even without telling anyone ... just ... I don't know ... sometimes dA irks me too much ... and I lose the determination of staying here, because I forget my reasons why I'm even here ... //sighs

This is going to be a long journal where I'd like to vent a bit, so if you don't want to read it, it's okay, I just need this off my chest, because it's REALLY bugging me.

!! WARNING: DO NOT CLICK THE LINKED PICTURES IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE MATURE CONTENT !!

Also, whatever I link here is not meant as an insult or show-off for the artist, but simply meant to prove my statements, please do not take this personal, I have censored the artists.
And I am linking pictures that are ON dA, so apparently they are not pornographic material.

And, I beg you, if you disagree with something, please do not commentstorm me immediately, please read the whole journal and if then there are still things you want to say, feel free to, but please keep in mind that I will hide and ignore rude comments.
Stay polite and calm please.

I will not mind how much hate I will get for this journal, talking about this topic and having a certain opinion, so if you want to dewatch me for speaking my mind, feel free to, I just hope you can see my point here.

---

The topic "pornography" on dA is a pretty popular topic, I've heard people discussing this a lot lately and so have I, because I noticed something that is really irking me.

You know I like to draw smut, yaoi/BL to be precise and I do not care if you approve or disapprove of that, I like yaoi and I won't stop drawing it.
But then I noticed that this is quite a big issue here on dA, with uploading "pornographic" yaoi pictures.
This is not about me being butthurt that my pictures get taken down because they are considered porn, I don't take this personal, I just want to show how unfair this kind of art is treated here.

Yes, I have read the rules and the FAQ of dA and I know that explicit pornography is strictly forbidden on dA and I do understand that.
No uploading pornographic pictures, not even linking to this kind of content is allowed.
And I accept that, it is understandable why one would make such rules.

But what I do not understand is, why dA is full of so much porn then.

It's not yaoi porn though, it's lesbian / futanari porn.

I took the liberty of browsing dA with an 18+ account, because I wanted to see if the rumor of dA being full of porn is true.
And I must say, it sadly is.
But not gay porn, only lesbian / futanari porn.
Which I think is NOT okay, because majorly yaoi porn getting removed and lesbian porn being left on dA is pretty racist and sexist.

I don't base my statements off nothing, I have screencaptured a few examples to show you what I mean.
Again, if you do not want to see those mature content pictures, do not click the links below.

I found a lot of futanari art, where dicks dangle around and tits bounce freely, as long as the picture is set on mature content.
Examples: [link] & [link]

But not only drawn futanari art, no, also real life pictures where they spread there legs right into the camera.
Example: [link]

Also simply naked women drawn, showing off their genitals freely.
Examples: [link] & [link] & [link]

Even a yuri/futanari doujinshi that SHOWS and LINKS to mature content images.
Example: [link]

And then I have also found a lesbian picture, which also shows the girls' vaginae.
Example: [link]

This picture has over 720 favorites and has never been considered porn.
It was reported once, back in 2010.
Here is the report: [link]
dA has done nothing about this picture, apparently because it is not pornographic.

But I find it pornographic.
There are two girls
naked
showing off their pussies right into the camera.
That IS porn, that is no longer just a nude picture, even if they're not clearly making love.
Porn is not only having sex.
And dA's rules forbid porn.

But what is porn for dA?
What I have seen so far, I would say dA counts yaoi pictures as porn, since all the other, hardcore "nudes" are still on dA and even popular.

I have browsed dA for yaoi.
You know what I found?
Guys hugging and kissing each other, but no dicks dangling in the picture, not even once, not even if they weren't errected, there was no explicit yaoi.
I would link you an example, but like I said, there is none.
The "worst" I could find was this: [link] & [link] & [link]
And it doesn't even show any genitals.

I know that there are also pictures of naked men on dA, I've seen those as well, but there aren't even half as many of those compared to naked females and the males don't stick their genitals into the camera like a lot of females are doing it in the pictures.

So, if I upload a picture with two guys looming above each other with their unerrected dicks shown carelessly, will this be torelated as a nude picture?
I don't think so, but I am up for trying that out if I have to, to prove my point here.

I think that this "pornography" issue has taken a racist and sexist turn.
Majorly gay porn pictures being removed from dA is not okay, it is unfair and offending.
Gay porn is also art.
Someone who draws yaoi puts just as much effort into the drawing as someone who draws yuri.
It takes a lot to get the anatomy right in such nude pictures, it really isn't that easy and you can't just say simply because two guys are having sex, this is no longer art.

Slowly I really start to dislike dA for this issue.
Why won't they treat gay and lesbian nude pictures equally?
I can't understand their way of judging pictures for what is porn and what isn't.
And what I dislike even more is, that they don't even notify you when they take YOUR art down for some reason.
They could at least have told me that my picture was removed and why.
But no, I had to find out it has been removed because a friend asked where the picture has gone.

I know there are people who like yaoi, just like me, they find it sexy and very aesthetic.
I know also there are people who like yuri, exactly for the same reasons.
Everyone has different tastes and that is alright with me, I wouldn't judge anyone for this, it's okay, I don't really like lesbian porn, but that's no reason for me to disapprove of it, especially because I like gay porn, it's just the same, only the gender is different.
I am even okay with people liking futanaris, I really don't mind it, everyone their own.
I just really, really dislike it that yaoi and yuri get treated so differently here on dA.
It's not okay the way they handle this currently.
It's just unfair and against all those people who appreciate yaoi.
And I happen to be one of them, and one of them that is so irked that she makes a journal about it.
It irks me for the sake of fairness, not because I feel hurt that they took my picture down.
And I know a lot of people who agree with me on this.

---

This is all I wanted to say.
I hope nobody feels insulted in some way after reading this, I really didn't mean to make you feel that way, sorry.
I just wanted to speak my mind freely, because that is my right to do.
Please do not rage at me for having this opinion and please do not drop offensive comments.
All I wanted was to show what I think, please don't hate me for this, please don't offend me for this.

And here I want to thank everyone who has read this far, thank you very much for your time and concern, no matter how you think about this issue, thank you.


All the pictures I have linked belong to their respective creators, I own nothing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH----

GAIZ GAIZ GAIZ

LOOK--




GOSH I'M LITERALLY CRYING HERE--

I FEEL SO HONOREDDDD

HOW COME I DESERVE THIS AKSDJFKASDJF--

THANK YOU SO MUCH

NEVER THOUGHT SOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY DO THIS FOR ME ;;;;

ILU

I'M AT A LOSS OF WORDS ;;;;;;;;


Anyone who wants to join -- feel free to, the requests are always open

Ugguuhh---
So I just came back from my first canoe class--
It's a sport my school offers-- and
OH MY GOD
MY HANDS ARE ALL SORE AND RED AND SWOLLEN
AND THEY HURT SO MUCH
I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF I CAN DRAW OTL
DIDN'T TRY IT YET
BUT GOOOODDD--
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN--
I'M GLAD I CHOSE THAT CLASS-- BUT STILL--
MY POOR HANDS


Besides that-- everything was so amazing--
my day couldn't be any better--

and if you ever have the chance to go on a canoe-trip -- DO ET

Okay, so I am pretty sure most of you have seen what happened yesterday, about that "I don't want critique" thing.

Please let me just explain myself here because I don't want people to get me wrong.

First of all, I know people criticize politely to help. And trust me, I appreciate that, I think it's a good thing that you want to help and don't judge you for that.
Critique, if uttered nicely, is there to help you improve, I know that as well and don't reject that entirely.

That I don't want critique is not about me thinking that I am good enough to not be criticized, I am not that arrogant to say that I can do anything perfectly, quite the contrary, I have a slight inferiority complex and am a perfectionist, which is a pretty bad combination. I am /never/ satisfied with what I do, be it drawing or anything else, I always find something to nag and complain about.
And I don't mind it if people point out my flaws, not at all.

But

and this is the point a lot of people don't seem to realize:

I, as a person, am someone who prefers to stand on their own feet and figure out problems by myself.
No matter if it comes to drawing or anything else I do in life, I never ask for help right away, I prefer to try it myself first and when I really don't know what to do anymore, then I will come and ask others for help.
This is just how I am, and in your eyes that might seem wrong, but I am that way and that's that.


See?
It's not that I don't want /critique/ as a specific thing, I just do not want any help unless I ask for it.
It was all about that, nothing more.
And I even have asked for help once or twice, so I clearly can take critique if I ask for it, because then I want to be helped.

I know that deviantART is a website artists can use in order to improve and show off their work, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to criticize anyone.
Some people do not want critique for reasons that are not conceit or similar things.
deviatnART has that "Critique" widget for people who want to get their art criticized, and if I would really want that, I would use that widget to clearly show that I /need/ and /want/ help.

"But you are here to improve your drawing skills, so don't complain when people try to help!"
Yes, I do want to improve, but not with every single drawing I do.
Some are just for fun and to kill some time because I was bored and they are sketchy and messy and not even worth a fight like this.
If it's just a sketch, of course there are flaws, of course something might seem off, but that's because it's a /sketch/, something I didn't spend a lot of time with.
That's why it's really not worth to be criticized, since I didn't put a lot of effort into it anyway.



I hope that some people see this whole thing a bit clearer now.
Just wanted to make this journal to explain why I don't want critique unless I ask for it, there is no other purpose of this.

And please don't start another arguement over this.
I am simply stating my opinion and I have the right to do this, please just accept my opinion or leave it be, don't argue more than necessary.

GUESS WHO IS GOING TO VISIT IN MEXICO THIS SUMMER?

CORRECT; MOI

I'LL ALSO MEET  
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT--
I'LL BE FLYING TO MONTERREY TO STAY WITH MACCHI FOR 5 WHOLE WEEKS--
ALL ALONE
WITHOUT MY PARENTS-- AND WITHOUT SPEAKING ONE WORD SPANISH LMAO

BUT OH GOD--
IT'S CERTAIN NOW THAT I'LL VISIT MACCHI
I JUST WANNA CRY
SO HAPPY


THIS WILL BE THE BEST SUMMER EVER AMFG--
NEVER EVER HAVE BEEN THAT FAR AWAY FROM HOME-- ESPECIALLY NOT ALONE--
AKSDFJAKSDJFKJ
AND I'M NO GOOD WITH HEAT--
AND I GET SUNBURNED SO QUICKLY AKSDJFKASDF
HOW WILL I SURVIVE?
BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK--

MY SWEET BBY
ILU SO MUCH MACCHI YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE--

Have you ever wondered if I have a tumblr? ; 7 ;


Well-- I'm not used to tumblr-- a-and idk how to use it properly--- b-but I made one [link]


I can't promise I'll be active on tumblr though-- first have to get used to it ;;;;;;;;



That's all-- //hides again

Just check if the slots are empty -- if they are, that means they are available, ignore the comments below

!! READ EVERYTHING CAREFULLY BEFORE ORDERING !!

Rules:

♥ do not note me !
♥ only one adopt per slot
♥ I will send you the full version per note when I'm done
♥ it might take me some time to finish your adopt
♥ have the payment ready when you order
♥ only send the payment AFTER I confirmed your order
♥ once you've bought the adopt it belongs to you and you may give it a name, backstory, change gender, etc.
♥ only slight design changes are allowed
♥ credit me for the original design
♥ no tracing / stealing of the actual artwork of the adopt
♥ no reselling of the adopt, but you may trade it
♥ I'd really appreciate it if you could link me any picture you draw of the adopt you got from me ; v ;
♥ I will hide every comment after the order is completed [just so I can keep track of things]

Price:

♥ the price will be 700 for each adopt
♥ each adopt will look like these

How to order:

♥ first three people to comment here will get a slot
♥ I will send you a note with the requirements once I've confirmed your order

Slots:

1.
2.

!! PAYPAL-ONLY SLOT:
3.



If you have any questions, feel free to ask, but make sure to have read everything before you ask ; v ;

... when you realize again that the people around you, the people who call themselves your family, don't even know who you really are and how you really feel; don't even know you at all.

THE WINNERS ARE CHOSEN

I USED A RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR TO GENERATE THREE NUMBERS TO PICK THE WINNERS

Prize is a fully colored bust-up picture of any character the three winners choose [can be an OC, fanart, whatever; I won't do furries/anthros or mecha, anything else is fine]
Background will be white though [or transparent idk yet //slapped]
It might take me some time to finish the pictures, but I'll try to get them done as soon as possible ; v ;



The winners are:

1. # 16 ~bambino-rotto

2. # 54 =LightningEffect

3. # 32 *Adowable


I'll send you a note now



THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME AND PARTICIPATING ♥

That's what you get when you study for your exams-- you take a break from studying to wish your pet canary a good night and find him dead in his feed through--- great ---
He didn't behave strange all day, he was just like usually and now he's dead-- seriously-- and I didn't notice it til now cuz I was studying for my exam tomorrow-- what the actual fuck I swear--
I only had him for one year although he should've became 5 at least-- canaries can live up to 10 years ... seems like fate really doesn't want me to have pets

Excuse me now I'll finish studying and then curl up in my bed and cry-

Bored once again = u =

!! READ EVERYTHING CAREFULLY BEFORE ORDERING !!

Rules:

♥ !! do not note me !!
♥ !! do not comment anything but commission orders !!
♥ if a slot is empty, that means it's available [ignore the comments]
♥ have the payment ready when you order
♥ have the reference ready when you order [send a note during 24 hours or I will decline your commission]
♥ only send the payment AFTER I confirmed your order
♥ I will hide every comment after the order is complete [just so I can keep track of things]
♥ only one character per slot
♥ commission will be finished today or tomorrow [since it's a quickie commission]
♥ commission will have a transparent bg
♥ I can always decline your commission [but never did so far]
♥ I will not draw mecha or furries

Price:

♥ the price will be 500 for each chibi
♥ each chibi will be in this style

How to order:

♥ first 6 persons to comment on this blog after updating will get the slots

Slots:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.



If you have any questions, feel free to ask, but make sure to have read everything before you ask ; v ;

Worst day so far this year--
I woke up roughly, being stressed out as fuck cuz of school-- was in a really bad mood-- then my mood got better in school cuz of my friends-- and I actually worked up some courage concerning my last exam, which was Latin, that I had to take today-- and I was all happy-go-lucky, everything was fine-- even during the exam--- until I noticed I wasn't able to translate one sentence-- I gave a fuck and wanted to go on-- noticing I couldn't do the next one either--
After I tried to translate the text I had to translate about 5 million times, realizing there was only half an hour left-- my head just went all 'nope' on me and I screwed up every last bit of my exam, meaning I couldn't write one word--
I wrote a few sentences of excuse though--
That feeling you get when you know you're good at something, really good, and then you notice you can't do it-- pure desperation-- and you feel like you're going to cry every second, sitting in a room full of people who know you only through school-- and you don't want to embarrass yourself, you don't want to show you are weak, cuz people know you only as a strong person-- yet that feeling swells up in your chest and you blink the tears away, trying to get your head going again-- won't work-- you give up and hand in your almost blank sheet of paper and walk home, as soon as you close your door behind you crying like a baby, being angry at yourself for not being able to do it, thinking about what your teacher will think of you after that disaster, knowing that you were a person that only got A's in the subject ...
I feel really crappy-- I've cheered up a bit-- still.. I'm sure I'll end up crying if I get my F back on Monday ... in front of my whole class .... |||OTL
I only translated the first sentence

But there's one good thing about this day--- remember my hyperthyroidism? The doc said I dun need to take any medicine against it yet ; w ;

ASDKJASDF I WAS TAGGED

GO AND LOVE HER--

---

Rules:
1. You must post these rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you, and create new questions for the people you tag to answer.
3. You have to choose 10 people to tag and post their icons on your journal
4. Go to their pages and tell them you have tagged her/him.
5. No tag backs.
6. No crap in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you're reading this." You have to tag 10 people.

_________________________________

1. Do you Yahoo? 8D //wowpumpkinyouresorandomithurts

Uuuhhh--- I'm not sure how you expect me to understand that question but-- No? //Starissodumb

2. Two roads, which way do you go? Left or Right?

I'd take forever to decide lmao--- I'd go where my heart tells me to go

3. Scott or Charlie?  //shotforthisquestion

I guess I'd go with Charlie |DDDDD //kicked

4. Coffee or Tea?

Both actually, though I only sip coffee whenever I wanna stay awake for 2 days or longer |D //shot
I'm a tea maniac-- just saying ...

5. What color is the shirt you're wearing? //roflimsocreepylololol

It's Trafalgar Law's hoodie
Not joking here I were that cosplay hoodie all the time |D //lubbles it

6. What's one thing you wouldn't give up?

My dA-- too many things, too many people and too many feels to throw away-- I could NEVER leave, even if I'd say so-- I'd still lurk around without replying to anything I swear--

7. What's one thing you wouldn't change?

My life-- although I say it's boring [which is so true] I'm a very happy and lucky person-- I rarely get into trouble and mostly everything solves itself for me-- and my wishes come true-- even ridiculous ones |D

8. Your other dA half?

......................................................................................................................... > //RUNSANDHIDES

9. An OC of mine you like? //yepigotreallyrandomlolguyssorryisuckwithquestions

Jr. |DDDD Totally Jr. //huggles him

10. 9x-7i>3(3x-7u)

EDIT: I FEEL SO VERY STUPID FOR NOT NOTICING THIS AT FIRST SIGHT---
I ♥ U 2 FOREVER AND EVER

Bby, sorry but I am NOT going to do math during the weekend //thinks math is boring

_________________________________

My questions:

1. If you could try out one thing in your life, no matter what, what would that be?
2. Tell me the most embarrassing event in your life so far >DDDDDDD
3. Which is your most favorite ship of MY OCs? [you can also make one up if you want]
4. Do you like me? //hides// If yes-- why? ; 7 ; //kicksstupidinferiorcomplex
5. Kiss; with or without tongue? |D
6. Your most favorite plz ?
7. LET ME LOVE UUUUUUUUUUUU
8. Tell me your weirdest dream so far~
9. Do you like it rough of soft andyouknowwhatImean?
10. Any person you love so much you'd like to mention here? Tell them something you always wanted to tell them!


Tagging:












SORREH GAIZ
BUT U KNOW I ONLY TAG U CUZ I LUB YOU SAO MUCH

I just feel like doing this~

Since I've always wanted to talk more to my watchers--

You can comment on this journal, asking or telling me anything you've always wanted to ask/tell me
It doesn't matter what it is not even if it's embarrassing or rude //shot
YOU CAN REALLY ASK/TELL ME ANYTHING!
And I promise to reply honestly~

I just want to know more about yooouuuu~

And I know, since I've heard it so often already, that many people are too shy to speak to me ; w ;
Idk why you feel that way, I really talk to anybody and I don't bite either

So feel free to ask and tell me whatever you want ♥


P.S if there are some of you who feel like whatever they want to tell/ask me is too private, you can just send me a note

I LUB YOU ALL //SMOTHERS EVERYONE WITH LOVE

Okay, so
I decided to make another account
for commissions, Art Trades and everything else that has nothing to do with my rp groups

~Star-Chii

From now on I'll upload every commish etc. on that account
Also all comishes etc. are moved to that account



Just wanted to tell you guys O v O

My doc told me that I most likely suffer from hyperthyroidism OTL
I will have to go to the doc again and get another blood sample ... //sobs